|
In world History, after days of discussing Lincolns
assasination:
Mr Sirridge: (not a direct quote) "who became president
after the president was killed?"
One of the ditzy girls across the room: (direct quote)
"WHAT PRESIDENT DIED!!????"
"The holy grail? Isn't that, like, what blind
people use?"
"A mutant? They're the people who can't speak"
In World History "Lenin? Yeah he was like, one of
the Beatles, right?"
Hilary on Lauren Neal: *in a mocking voice* "I'm Lauren Neal and i have the
IQ of a TOASTER OVEN!!!" this was said right outside Lauren's house and overheard by both
her and her friends who shot us menacingly dirty looks. :-D
|
Different Ways
To Say ''You're Stupid'' |
|
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
- A few beers short of a six-pack.
- Dumber than a box of hair.
- A few peas short of a casserole.
- Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one
box.
- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's
dead.
- One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
- One taco short of a combination plate.
- A few feathers short of a whole duck.
- All foam, no beer.
- The cheese slid off her cracker.
- Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
- Couldn't pour water out of a boot with
instructions on the heel.
- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit
every branch on the way down.
- An intellect rivaled only by garden
tools.
- As smart as bait.
- Chimney's clogged.
- Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
- Doesn't know much but leads the league
in nostril hair.
- Elevator doesn't go all the way to the
top floor.
- Forgot to pay her brain bill.
- Her sewing machine's out of thread.
- His antenna doesn't pick up all the
channels.
- His belt doesn't go through all the
loops.
- If she had another brain, it would be
lonely.
- Missing a few buttons on his remote
control.
- No grain in the silo.
- Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
- Receiver is off the hook.
- Several nuts short of a full pouch.
- Skylight leaks a little.
- Slinky's kinked.
- Surfing in Nebraska.
- Too much yardage between the goal posts.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- The lights are on, but nobody's home.
- 24 cents short of a quarter.
|
the next few pictures, although very sexist and sterotypicaly
portrayed...are actually quite funny.
So to make up for the above pictures....a joke about
men and their inferiority
Three guys are having a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the
blue, they catch a mermaid -- who begs to be set free,
in
return for granting each of them a wish.
One of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Okay, if
you
can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare
flawlessly, and
analyzing what he's recited with great insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid,
"Triple
my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
The guy starts to spout solutions to problems that have been
stumping
all the great scientists of the world: the
mathematicians, physicists, chemists, and so on.
The last guy is so enthralled
with the changes in his friends
that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my I.Q."
The mermaid looks at him and says,
"You know, I normally
don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but
I really think you should reconsider."
The
guy says, "Nope, I want you to multiply my I.Q. times
five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please,"
the mermaid says, "you don't know what you're
asking! It'll change your entire view on the universe. Won't
you ask for
something else, a million dollars, anything?" But
no matter what the mermaid says, the guy insists on having
his I.Q.
increased to five times its usual power.
Finally, the mermaid sighs and says, "Done."
And he turns into a woman.
So just how far down do
you want to go
Well we could talk it out over a cup of joe
And you could look deep into my eyes
Like I was a super-model,
uh huh
Well, it's you and me baby no one else we can trust
We'll say nothin to no one no how or we bust
And
never crack a smile
Or flinch or cry for nobody
Chorus:
Well give your ID card to the border guard
Now
your alias says you're Captain Jean-Luc Picard
Of the United Federation of Planets
'Cause he won't speak English anyway
Everybody knows
That the world is full of stupid people
So meet me at the mission at midnight
We'll divvy
up there
Everybody knows
That the world is full of stupid people
Well I got the pistols so I get the Pesos
Yeah and that seems fair
So put the sugar in the tank of the sheriff's car
And slash the deputy's tires and
they won't get very far
When they finally get the word
That there's been a hold-up uh-huh
|
